Girls in Love are Insane
by BountyRai
Summary: Joker,TwoFace, Scarecrow,Riddler use the Arkham Asylum Costume Dance as a cover to break out of the facility but Ivy n Harley are caught up wanting dates! The famous villans get awkward as they confront eachother and possibley like the romantic attention
1. Monday & Tuesday

**A/N: **I really love the idea of Batman villans having dating problems. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. Tell me what you think!

I do not own anything Batman.

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**Girls in Love are Insane**

This story takes place the Arkham Asylum lunch room over a period of seven days.

**Monday**

Arkham Asylum had never seemed so lonely. At least, not to Ivy.

"What's wrong, Reds? You don't like Meatloaf Monday or something? Don't worry, I don't even think it's real meat…" Harley Quinn assured patting Ivy on the back.

Ivy gave Harley an "Are-You-Kidding-Me" glance and tuffed the loaf with her fork. "No, Harley…" She looked at a young tattooed Arkham couple laughing across the cafeteria and gaze into each others piggy, deceptive, love filled eyes.

"Earth to Reds! You're turning the meatloaf to soup!" Harley grabbed Ivy's fork. "What's the matta' with you anyway? I haven't gotten death threats from you in a week! Don't think I don't know you've been secretly writing me those notes about me leavin' my Puddin' or you'll kill me." Harley snorted and crossed her arms ready to be on the defense…but nay, no word came from the plant-woman. She looked at Ivy's depressed face. "Heyyyyyyy this seems serious. Tell me what's up!" Harley leaned in closer to Ivy as she sighed.

"You know, you really are the LAST person I should be telling this to-"

"Oh come on! Been a while since we had girl time."

"Oh..yeah okay. But please please please don't say anything to anyone."

"Cross my heart and hope to die"

"You do that every day when you're with Joker."

"Hey! Leave Mr. J. outta this!"

"Harley…urgh…okay. You know how I can get any man to do my bidding."

"Yeah sure, and Puddin' is still a tad angry that you killed his dry cleaning guy. No one could get brain spatter out like Mario."

Ivy ignored her. "Well I, just once, want to get a guy to love me for…me. You know, no funny stuff. Just him liking me."

Harley raised her eyebrows. "I'm glad we're here in Arkham because you are definitely in the right place. You are NUTS!"

"Harley stop attracting peoples attention! The boys are looking at us!"

And they were. It's a well known fact that Arkham has a lot of the criminally insane but there's a hierarchy to those criminals. Only the best, the most dedicated, the most criminally of criminally insane are on speaking terms and they have their own cafeteria table next to the buffet (hey if you were a top-notch criminal would you walk very far for seconds?). On the boy's side, the villainous rock stars of this Arkham table included The Joker (sometimes, when the others put up with him and his uncanny ability to hide anchovies in all of their food, which Edward Nigma's ice cream last night had the pleasure of gracing), Scarecrow, Two-Face, The Riddler, and once Ra's al Ghul.

So there they were, starring at Ivy and Harley with questionable looks at Harley's explanation of calling Ivy nuts.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What the hell do you think they're talking about?" Scarecrow fiddled with the meatloaf.

"Probably the dance." Riddler interjected.

"I'm sorry- the what now?" Two-face laughed out load.

"Okay, just make fun of me now and get it over with. I happen to LIKE Arkham when we're not just drooling in our cages. A dance is a refreshing event in this hell-hole." Riddler put the loaf in his mouth indignantly.

"Yeah-whatever just keep it down here comes Joker." Scarecrow muttered to Riddler and Two-Face.

"Hello boyfriends! I just am DYING to tell you about my new hairstyle I'm planning! I grab a guard and slit his throat, k? Then I use a pool of blood to bring out the shine in my green locks-"  
"You know I AM eating clown." Two-Face scoffed.

"Sayyyy you guys aren't avoiding me are you? Eddiekins! You aren't mad about the fishes in your ice cream, they would have suffocated otherwise."

"They need water, you idiot, not ice cream to breathe!" Eddie snapped remembering his ruined treat.

Joker slapped Scarecrow on the back and muttered. "You gotta watch that one- he's crazy."

"We were just talking about the dance." Scarecrow changed the subject.

"Dance? What dance?" Joker raised an eyebrow before scooping up Two-Face's mashed potatoes with a fork the size of a shovel.

Riddler pulled out a flyer and put it on the table. On it were two inmates dancing close with big grins on their face. It read:

Think you have what it takes?! 1rst annual Arkham Asylum costume ball this Friday- couples only so start lady slaying fellas (not to be taken literal. We will find you if you do so don't even think about it) have fun 

PS: That goes double for you Zsasz, we know where to look. We saw your new scar. You know where we mean.

"Ohhh this is so perfect. Anyone fancy to break out at the Asylum ball?" Joker announced to the table.

"Where do you think Zsasz's new scar is?" Scarecrow speculated.

"I already got three more years for trying to break out a month ago." Two-Face grimaced. "Besides, I bet they'll have armed guards in costume everywhere. It would be a suicide mission."

"But that's the FUN of it- they're practically inviting us to try-and I'm not going to disappoint." Joker laughed which meant he made up his mind. "I'll be in my room!" He said grabbing Riddlers cookie. The whole table sighed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You know, I did hear about that dance thing." Harley looked at her nails. "This Friday, couples only. It's a costume ball! And Jokers going to taaakkkeee meeeee!" She squealed.

"Dance huh…well, I guess then I'd have to go with somebody." Ivy looked over at the boy's table. "Who do you think should be the lucky guy?"

"Oh without a doubt Eddie Nigma."

Ivy snorted nearly getting water up her nose. "Who now!?"

"Well come on! You gotta lot in common. I mean, you both got red hair…" Harley put up a finger dramatically. "And you both dress in green…"

"Yeah. But Harley, he does that…thing."

"Huh?"

"You know…the riddle thing."

"But it's-"

"Dorky?"

"I was gonna say cute." Harley laughed. "Besides, he won't be dull. I mean, Just like Mr. J. he'll always keep you guessing!" She laughed again this time a little more nervous.

"Joker asking you to open the present on your birthday that doesn't kill you doesn't count as "keeps you guessing" Harley."

"Hmph…well I picked right didn't I?"  
"Harley, he gave you a pack of gum."

"Its my favorite! Hey! Don't change the subject- Eddie Nigma is your guy."

"Oh…I don't know…he's a little too…"  
"Different? Just give him a chance Ivy. Besides, I bet he doesn't have a date yet." Harley whined. "He's kinda a loser."

"Wow, why am I not in his arms already?"

Ivy looked over at the table and met Riddlers gaze. She smiled sweetly.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Riddler gasped and averted his eyes. Two-Face and Scarecrow stopped eating.

"You okay, Nigma?" Scarecrow smiled as he saw the nervous look on his face.

"Poison Ivy just smiled at me." Riddler gulped shocked.

Two-Face growned. "Man she is trouble."

"Yeah, HOT trouble." Scarecrow gandered at her over his shoulder.

"Shut up, Jonathan-"

"Im going to ask her to the dance." Scarecrow grinned grabbing the flyer.

"Wait-no!" Riddler reached out to stop Scarecrow but missed.

"Hey, let him make his own mistakes." Two-Face leaned back in his chair. "This is going to be sooooo funny." Chuckling he watched Scarecrow make his way to the table.

"Why funny?" Riddler asked.

"Cause she's like… you know…"

"A lesbian?"

"She likes plants you moron!" Two-Face sighed rolling his eyes.

"Is that like, slang for lesbian?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Come on Scarecrow…you can do it. It's just a social outing…no biggie. _Scarecrow walked slowly to the table. _Oh wait, you gotta look more cool._ He smiled and pulled out a shirt from his back pocket. It looked tattered.

"What the hell is that?" Riddler pointed to the tattered shirt that Scarecrow proceeded to put on his head.

"Oh-my- she is going to eat him alive." Two-Face laughed loudly as Scarecrow put on a home- or asylum in this case- made scarecrow mask. It even had traces of the words "Arkham" printed in the back of the mask.

"Hellllllllloooo ladies." Scarecrow announced to get Ivy and Harleys attention. They looked up at him starring into a tattered, orange, mask that vagley resembled a mask.

Ivy put her hand to her head trying to conceal the embarrassment of being talked to by such a person. "Woopsies!" Scarecrow bent over and "picked" up the Arkham Dance flyer from the floor. "Does this piece of paper belong to any of you _fine_ specimans? What? Oh my! It seems to be a flyer for a dance!" A very forced and cheesey laugh omitted from the mask. "How amusing! Say, Ms. Ivy-"

"Please no…" Ivy muttered between her hands.

"Save it 'Crow!" Harley interjected and grabbed the flyer from Scarecrows hands. "She's waiting for another special someone to ask her to the dance!"

Ivy looked up at Harley in horror. "Harley- NO!"

"Take it easy, Red, I got this." Harley reassured. "The only thing that's scarey about you is your inability to pick up girls!" She tore up the paper dramatically.

"Well-I-uh-" Scarecrow fumbled embarrassed. He looked over at Two-Face who seemed to be laughing his ass off and Riddler who wasn't looking at all.

Harley winked at Ivy as she shouted across the room. "Besides the RIDDLER should be the one over here askin' I mean IVY thinks he's SOOOOO DREAMMMY"

Ivy gasped and grabbed Harley's arm. "Are you crazy!?"

"I AM here, aren't I?" Harley shrugged.

Scarecrow looked at them both dumbfounded. An uncanny silence filled the whole room. Even Two-Face's laughter couldn't be heard. Ivy dragged Harley by the arm towards the hallway careful not to look at Riddlers face.

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**Tuesday**

"Urugh this looks just like Monday meatloaf…except…flatter." Two-Face grimaced at the rubbery substance on his plate.

"It is Monday meatloaf. We used to flatten it in the waffle iron but too many people caught on." The lunch lady shrugged.

"Gross…why are you telling me this?" Two-Face curled his lip disgusted.

"Because you murder people." The lunch lady apathetically replied.

"…Fair enough."

"Hey Two-Face, over here!" Scarecrow waved him over to the legendary table. "You look sick- you wanna eat that?" He asked pointing to the roast beef on his platter as Two-Face sat down.

"You are so welcome to it." Two-Face crossed his arms being done with the meal. Scarecrow shrugged and gorged the new portion.

"Morning gent's!" Joker jumped on the bench before sitting down at the table. "Where's Nig-maniac today?"

"Man Joker you missed a hell of a scene, yesterday." Scarecrow looked at the crazy clown.

"I heard about it already. Connections you know…." Joker impatiently dismissed. "I have new developments on our release Friday."  
"Our release? I already said no, Clown." Two-Face scoffed.

"That's your business, Half-Ugly." Joker laughed evilly as Two-Face ignored him. "But I'm going to need your help regardless. We need dates for that dance and I'm sure you're going to need help in that department." Joker tut-tuted Scarecrow as he blushed red, deducing that he had heard of his proposal gone array.

"I hate you so much." Two-Face winced.

"Just call me the Matchmaker! A Yenta! You might even have fun ol' Two-sy boy!" Joker pinched the handsome side of his face.

"Is that Eddie?" Scarecrow pointed across the room to the fern at the beginning of the buffet line.

"Why is he hiding?" Two-Face cocked his head to the side as the fern russled nervously. Two-Face hand signaled the fern to come to the table. Riddler jumped up from behind the fern and walked over like nothing had ever happened.

Joker slapped Scarecrow harder than last time which made him nearly choke. "See what I mean? Craaazzzyyyyy." Joker muttered. "I have plans to go over, people to kill, costumes to make." Joker laughed dramatically. He pointed at Riddler. "I have to talk to you- but later." He laughed at Riddlers confused expression and walked into the crowd.

"Doesn't that guy ever eat?" Riddler's eyes trailed after the Clown Prince.

"I wish he didn't." Scarecrow grimaced pulling out tiny chattering teeth from his baked potato.

"Is-she-around?" Riddler said leaning over the table.

Two-Face rolled his eyes. "Yes, she's over at the ladies table talking to Harley."

"Man you'll never know what that crazy bitch sent me! I think she's trying to kill me or something-" Riddler pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

"What's that on it?" Two-Face said looking at the note.

"Lipstick compound?" Scarecrow rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"It's a freakkin' love note. I tried to decrypt it's words for a hidden message all night-" He opened the men which showed a graph of underlined and circled words. "And all I came up with was 'kittens and bacon". Riddler shook his head. "But what could it _mean_?!"

"How about you actually read the letter to us, Nigma." Two-Face said unamused.

"Oh-yeah uh:

(heart) Hello Mr. Nigma (heart)

Here's a riddle for you: What's red and green and sexy all over? Look in the mirror!

-Ivy"

"Whoa. That's pretty heavy stuff." Two-Face said disbelieving.

"How do you get kittens and bacon out of that?" Scarecrow looked at the note.

"Doesn't matter-but-do you really think that…you know…she likes me? No, this has to be some trick. Come on Eddie, kittens and bacon! Must be some kind of medieval death trap…"  
"You know there is the off chance she just wants to be invited to that dance." Two-Face said taking another bread roll.

"Don't be stupid." Scarecrow scowled.

"…You put a sac over your head to enhance your 'chances'." Two-Face growled. "You should try talking to her." They all looked over at the girls table simultaneously with wide disrespecting eyes.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What are they _doing_?" Ivy said completely off her guard by the looks from the men.

"Probably eyeing you up, Reds. You do look nice today-"

"Stop right there, Harley. One: I wear this everyday. It's the inmate uniform. Two: I am so embarrassed about yesterday I am NOT going and what I am going to do is forget that it ever happened and laugh it off with a bowl of ice cream."

"Oh…well…you sorta havta go…." Harley muttered ignoring her gaze.

"Harley…what did you do." Ivy's voice turned dangerously malicious.

"Funny, you know Reds, I was just thinking of you being all alone and sad-"

"Harley."

"I sent Riddle-face a love letter from you-"

"You _WHAT_?!"

"Relax! Just a tiny one!" Harley moved to avoid Ivy's death grip.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Look at her! She's ready to kill poor Harley Quinn! A death trap I'm telling you!" Riddler's eyes grew wider.

"Stop being such a pussy and ask her out!" Two-Face hit the table. "There are no kittens and bacon!"

Riddler gulped. "I-I-"

Scarecrow put his hand on Riddler's shoulder." Just play it cool. You can borrow my mask if you want-" Two-Face shook his head at Scarecrow.

"I-just…don't know how to ask out pretty girls."

"There's a surprise." Two-Face rolled his eyes.

"Just go up to her and ask-" Scarecrow folded his arms smoothly. "She would have totally gone out with me if she wasn't waiting for you. I saw the lust in her eyes."

"Lust to rip that stupid cowl off you." Two-Face laughed.

"Quick- give me something to say to her before I loose my nerve." Riddler begged.

"Tell her that the near perfect symmetrical structure of her body is pleasing to the eye." Scarecrow grinned.

Two-Face sighed. "What this _fool_ is trying to say is tell her she's pretty."

"Okay. I can do that." Riddler closed his eyes for a minute and got up from the table.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Harley, you are going to have to tell him you did all this. That it was some cruel joke-"

"He's coming over here now, Reds!" Harley choked through Ivy's death grip on her neck. Ivy let go in shock and looked over at the red-head puzzle man.

"Hello, Ivy." Riddler said in an emotionless voice. "The near perfect symmetrical…I mean…you're pretty."

Ivy switched her gaze from Riddler to Harley who shrugged nervously. "Thank you, Edward." The words couldn't' be more icy if it were, well, ice.

"I was wondering if you'd go to the dance with me this Friday." He put his hands in his pockets. Ivy opened her mouth to say something than shut up. Riddler's jaw clenched. She noticed his stance was confident and eager. Oh hell.

"Sure. Why not."

"Kittens and bacon." Riddler muttered quickly.

"I beg your pardon?" Ivy questioned.

"Nothing. Oh and Ivy-"

"Yes?" She remarked impatiently

"What's red and green and sexy all over? _You_ should be the one looking in the mirror." Riddler grinned wide as he did "the guns" hand motion at Ivy. Ivy looked at him emotionless.

"…Remember, the note? Because you said what was-" Riddler started nervously. Negitive feedback never did sit comfortably with him, especially when he was trying his best.

"Right. I got it." Ivy responded sounding like she couldn't have been more bored with his imagined rapier wit.

"Caio!"

"Oh God, he's a master! He did the guns! Oh he's so in." Scarecrow smiled as Riddler trotted happily towards them. Two-Face looked over the love letter.

"This is so wrong." Two-Face remarked.


	2. Wednesday & Thursday

**A/N:** I don't own Batman. Or Snickers Bars. The awkwardness continues! What's worse than an overly sensitive needy genius? I don't know either.

**Wednesday**

"Have you got your costumes yet?" Scarecrow questioned the table as he started eating the Mystery Meat Wednesday platter. Two-Face sighed.

"I just got a date. Joker sent me a note saying that for his plan to work all three of us need dates."

"I can't believe we're helping him. Had a change of heart, huh?" Scarecrow shuttered.

"Do you want to keep eating this food?" Two-Face nodded at the mystery meat platter.

"Point taken." Scarecrow cringed. "Nigma, what on earth are you doing?"

"I have to write down things to say unless the conversation goes stale." Riddler said hurried.

Two-Face grabbed the paper he was writing on. "Ed, these are just riddles and bad puns."

Riddler took back the paper forcibly. "What do you know? She obviously likes me for my superior intellect."

Two-Face sighed. "Can you at least get rid of the first one? It's crazy stupid."

"What's the first one, Nigma?" Scarecrow chewed.

"Okay, this one is great, I don't know why Two-Face doesn't like it." Riddler remarked dryly. "I can't wait to see everyone's costumes! I'm expecting to see Joker dressed up as a Snickers Bar! Get it!? Snickers! Like the laugh?"

"I have no idea why she chose you over me." Scarecrow spat bitterly.

"Maybe she doesn't want to get laid." Two-Face speculated looking at Riddler.

Riddler sighed and crumpled up the paper frustrated. "I don't even understand why she likes me. She's never paid any attention to me before."

"Yeah that is a mystery." Two-Face and Scarecrow looked at each other.

"God, she can't just want me for my body, could she?" Riddler said touching his chest.

"I think you're safe from that speculation, Nigma." Scarecrow huffed.

"Who are you guys bringing to the dance?" Riddler changed the subject.

"Uh…well…" Scarecrow shuffled uncomfortably.

"Jenny Price." Two-Face said simply.

"Jenny Price? The lunch lady?" Riddler questioned.

"Who knew badass murderers turned her on." Two-Face grinned. "Plus I don't care if she dies during the escape."

"Oh of course." Both men agreed.

"I haven't had a chance to ask around yet." Scarecrow shrugged. "Girls in general avoid me. The words out that I'm pretty dangerous…never know when the fear gas will slip out.."

"Oh of course." Both men hesitantly agreed.

"Anyone seen Joker?" Scarecrow munched on a cookie.

"He said he's working on some 'super costume' for Friday. I doubt it's a Snickers Bar." Two-Face gazed at Riddler, who just scoffed back.

"At least I can eat in peace."

"You're not still mad at me, Red? Come on it's a dance." Harley frowned at Ivy as she took a bite from a potato.

"No I'm not mad. It's not your fault; you only tried to help me. Even if it was awkward and embarrassing."  
"You gotta admit he's kinda cute when he's all nervous like that." Harley said sadly.

"Are you okay Harley?" Ivy looked at her friend in the face which made Harley burst into tears.

"Oh it's so _horrible_ I'm gonna be _miserable_!" Harley cried into her hands.

"What on this beautiful earth are you talking about?"

"Mr. J. said that we can't go together! He said I gotta be…gotta be…"

"Got to be what, Harley?"

"Gotta be Scarecrows date! He won't even tell me why!" She wailed.

"Well that's your Joker, selfish till the end."

"I was gonna be this really cute bunny rabbit girl that you see on those grown up magazines-and he was gonna play bunny hunter-"

"There-there" Ivy pat Harleys head strategically interrupting.

"And we were going to sign up together at the couples booth an' it was gonna be perfect…"

"Urgh that reminds me we both have to sign up together. That means I have to talk to him." Ivy looked across the room to the boy's table. She looked at the sign in table. Zsasz seemed to be causing some commotion.

"What do you mean me and Dana can't sign up together?" Zsasz remarked crazily.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Zsasz, but you need a human woman- _not a plastic kitchen knife_- to sign up for the dance." The orderly sighed exasperated.

"But she's not just a kitchen knife- Dana has a name you know- its Carla!"

"That doesn't even make any sense- goodness- That doesn't make- do you people even listen to yourselves?!" The orderly lost it as guards shuffled Zsasz away from the sign up booth. This was going to be painful.

"You should wear cologne that has that mowed grass smell." Scarecrow grinned.

"Shut up here she comes." Two-Face warned the table. Riddler straightened up and smiled at Ivy.

"Hello, Ivy." Riddler said in an uncharacteristically deep voice.

"Yeah hi. Any idea why Harley isn't going to the dance with Joker?" Ivy crossed her arms.

"What? No." The three looked at each other clueless.

"You better not be lying to me. There is something weird going on here." Ivy gave them all a warning look.

"Why do you say that?" Riddler questioned.

"Well -_apparently_- Harley is going to the dance with Jonathan."

Scarecrow nearly spat out his water. "Huh?"

"Yeah congratulations. Sorry I had to be the one to tell you, I know you were asking around."

Scarecrow looked a little sick as he slid to see Harley's table.

"Anyway, I need to borrow Edward from you. We have to sign up." Ivy said impatiently.

"Oh…of course." Riddler got up from the table and walked beside Ivy.

"Well Well look at you two love birds!" Joker laughed as they approached the sign up table.

"What the-? Where's the orderly?" Ivy questioned.

"She had to step out. I'm running the booth right now! Look we already got tons of signatures- its going to be a party to die for…" Joker grinned as he showed them the clipboard.

"These signatures are just smiley faces with knives and arrows through their heads." Ivy sighed not impressed.

"Don't worry they represent real people-" Joker laughed as Riddler took the sign up sheet from the clown. He noticed that Harley and Scarecrow already curiously had their signatures together on the sheet along with the same handwriting. Other people were paired together as well- Killer Croc seemed to have a lot of dates…also, in the same mysterious handwriting.

"You're breaking Harley's heart, you know." Ivy's voice interrupted the moment. "She really wanted to be that bunny-thing." If looks could kill the clown would be incinerated.

"Bah Harley, Shmarley. She never sees ahead!" Joker clenched his hand in a moment of anger. His demeanor changed immediately as a wide grin spread across his homicidal face. "Besides it would be so _interesting_…" In a flash he got up from the table sign in table and made his way to Two-Face and Scarecrow.

"Here comes Joker." Seemed to be the warning of the year. Scarecrow ate his breadroll nonchalantly as the clown jumped next to him.

"Sooooooooooooooooooooo you're taking out MY girl ehhhh?!" A sinewy arm made it's way around Scarecrows neck and at the end of the white limb a plastic knife was pointed perfectly.

"Oh God, Joker! I didn't even ask her!" Scarecrow fumbled.

"I'm going to cut you like a jack-o-lantern!" The murderous words spat at Scarecrow like poison.

"That's technically not correct, the jack-o-lantern is called a pumpkin before it's carved-"

"Take it easy, Clown, the guards will notice and we'll all get electrocuted." Two-Face angrily grabbed Jokers free arm.

"Just foolin'! Here's five bucks get her something nice." Jokers arm dropped and the green paper made its way to a shaky Scarecrow. "You two kids make a cuter couple anyway." With that Joker laughed and made his way to the hallway leading to cells. Harley's eyes trailed behind him as she wiped away her previous tears.

"God what a maniac. I'm going to kill him one day." Two-Face groveled watching him leave.

"Y-yeah." Scarecrow said straitening his clothes and clearing his throat. "Wonder what _he's_ afraid of."

Two-Face dropped his fork. "Batman, dumbass."

"Oh. That makes sense." Scarecrow recovered.

"We need costumes. The facility says that they'd provide them for us. God, why are they doing this anyway? It seems like such a waste of time to hold a dance in the first place." Two-Face announced to no one in general.

"Isn't it obvious? It's a test to see what we'd dress up as. Another one of their 'rehabilitation' tactics to get inside our minds." Riddler sat down without Ivy.

"It would explain the costume part." Scarecrow speculated. "But why couples?"

"To figure out who we're close to in here, Goddammit." Riddler swore.

"That explains Joker's aversion to Harley. Doesn't want to be associated with anyone." Two-Face laughed.

"This is going to get awkward." Riddler imagined himself being interviewed by the doctors, asking him personal questions about him and Ivy's "relationship".

"We have to choose some costumes tomorrow. I'm going to get to the closet early- I'll be damned if I get a stupid costume." Two-Face put his fist in the air dramatically. They all agreed. "I really hope there's some hay or something." Scarecrow pushed some meat into his mouth hopefully.

**Thursday**

"Oh yuck, what is that?" Ivy picked up a giant orange bodysuit.

"I think it's a carrot costume." Harley and Ivy scrunched their nose in unison.

"What costumes are left on your side?" Ivy sighed shoveling through the sea of bad taste along the costume wall.

"I got tha flapper dress, sexy cop, sexy nurse, hippie girl, and something that looks like a mummy. No jesters or plants in sight." Harley sighed.

"This will so not do."

"Trying to impress Riddler?" Harley jeered.

"What? No! Of course not!" Ivy said taken aback.

"Uh huh…he really has the hots for you, Red." Harley smiled.

"Give me that sexy cop one." Ivy muttered in a bad mood.

"But that was going to be mine!" Harley whined.

"Don't be stupid that belt will make your ass look big." Ivy grabbed the hanger from Harley.

"At least I have one." Harley hmphed as she picked up the sexy nurse.

"I change my mind. They don't want to get into our psyche they want to humiliate us." Scarecrow frowned walking into the costume closet with Two-Face and Riddler.

"Riddle me this, why are these costumes torn up?" Riddler picked up an Elvis ensemble with the arms torn off.

"I personally think that they got the right idea tearing these apart." Two-Face shook his head at the giant penis costume.

"Freudian analysis for anyone that chooses that one." Scarecrow nodded.

"This blows."

"Lunch is starting soon, you guys better pick out something." Scarecrow said shuffling through.

"What-you mean you found one already?" Riddler sorted through clothes.

"Oh yeah, I got stuff in my cell. That mask was only part of my costume. I'm going to be a scarecrow."

"When did you have all that time to make a costume?" Two-Face questioned pulling out a cowboy costume.

"Oh…uh…well sort of worked on it early." Scarecrow muttered. They both looked at him.

"You made it before you even knew there was a dance, didn't you?"

"So?" Scarecrow said defensively. "Good luck finding something that doesn't make you look like fools."

Riddler grabbed a hanger in excitement. "I can't believe this is in here!"

"What is it?" Two-Face and Scarecrow shuffled in intrigue.

"A tuxedo?" Scarecrow looked confused.

"Oh man. Please don't wear that." Two-Face scrunched his handsome side of his face to match the other.

"I don't know what you mean. Light blue is a good classic color." Riddler said smiling as he pulled the suit up to his body.

"Yeah if you wanna look like a classic moron." Two-Face sighed in his hand.

"If I were a psychiatrist I'd put that in there to see if anyone was brain damaged." Scarecrow laughed.

"Stop being so jealous." Nigma smiled widely as the possibilities of the night filled his mind.

**A/N**: The next chapter will feature the lunch, dance, and possible jailbreak so stay tuned!


End file.
